How not to ask someone out

Hi All
This is more just a vent and not a personally embarrassing story, but definitely a tip for all you gay internet daters out there. And maybe not gay, why be biased? I just don't know if this horrendous practice exists in straighty-land.

Is there an influx of passive-aggressive interest on the internet? I think there is. That wonderful term I just invented 'passive-aggressive interest' will be defined as thus: romantic and/or lustful interest in someone, reflected by constantly asking leading, annoying, yet indirect and purposeless questions, and refusing to ask what is actually on one's mind.

This is best exemplified by three questions:
1. What else? This means, I am interested, but I cannot possibly put forth enough sincere interest, brain capacity, creativity, or risk-taking to ask a real question, so I will put all the burden back on you. Fun answers to this question include "Nothing." "I don't know, you tell me." "That's it. Goodbye" or "I am chatting with someone more interesting right now."

Be careful of the backfire though! When I was asked this question one too many times and subsequently snapped, "NO! You have to ask me a real question!" I was met with a hesitant, "Ummm, do you like camping?"

To which, I wanted to bang my head, or his, through some heavy glass.

2. What's up? (Of course this is a passable introduction) However, when you have been chatting for a while and someone asks, "So, what's up?" this obviously means "I am horny and want to hook up but I will not make the effort or take the risk to ask you."

What's up? followed by a :-) or ;-) is also a free pass for murder.

3. And the winner of all passive-aggressive interest: So when are we meeting?
Jesus Christ, people. SO WHEN ARE WE MEETING? If you want to ask someone (me) out, set up a hook up, coffee, beer, handshake, or driveby, prove you have balls and ask.

N.B. The obvious flip answer is "I suppose whenever you ask" But be careful, because this awful person may actually ask. If someone you were really interested asked "So when are you meeting" you would obviously swoon.

You're welcome.