my favorite suggestion so far: passive aggressive commentary!
maybe you can try some passive aggressive behavior
like sigh around the house "boy i wish i could have people over, but someone won't leave the apt...."
it might go away, but it also might have babies
Sorry, I can't go out tonight and leave all my food unattended because I have to stay in and repair all these cereal boxes that someone chewed through.
i saw a mouse playing in traffic. i wonder if you want to check that out?
i wasn't going to get a cat, but someone keeps insisting on burglarizing my apt.
I guess I would go buy more bite-size food, but SOMEONE keeps pooping on the counter!
i really hope if someone decides to go all octomom, she choses to raise them in apt 1.
do you hear that squeaking? god it is driving me crazy, whatever it may be...
its more humane that traps, at least.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
How not to ask someone out
Hi All
This is more just a vent and not a personally embarrassing story, but definitely a tip for all you gay internet daters out there. And maybe not gay, why be biased? I just don't know if this horrendous practice exists in straighty-land.
Is there an influx of passive-aggressive interest on the internet? I think there is. That wonderful term I just invented 'passive-aggressive interest' will be defined as thus: romantic and/or lustful interest in someone, reflected by constantly asking leading, annoying, yet indirect and purposeless questions, and refusing to ask what is actually on one's mind.
This is best exemplified by three questions:
1. What else? This means, I am interested, but I cannot possibly put forth enough sincere interest, brain capacity, creativity, or risk-taking to ask a real question, so I will put all the burden back on you. Fun answers to this question include "Nothing." "I don't know, you tell me." "That's it. Goodbye" or "I am chatting with someone more interesting right now."
Be careful of the backfire though! When I was asked this question one too many times and subsequently snapped, "NO! You have to ask me a real question!" I was met with a hesitant, "Ummm, do you like camping?"
To which, I wanted to bang my head, or his, through some heavy glass.
2. What's up? (Of course this is a passable introduction) However, when you have been chatting for a while and someone asks, "So, what's up?" this obviously means "I am horny and want to hook up but I will not make the effort or take the risk to ask you."
What's up? followed by a :-) or ;-) is also a free pass for murder.
3. And the winner of all passive-aggressive interest: So when are we meeting?
Jesus Christ, people. SO WHEN ARE WE MEETING? If you want to ask someone (me) out, set up a hook up, coffee, beer, handshake, or driveby, prove you have balls and ask.
N.B. The obvious flip answer is "I suppose whenever you ask" But be careful, because this awful person may actually ask. If someone you were really interested asked "So when are you meeting" you would obviously swoon.
You're welcome.
This is more just a vent and not a personally embarrassing story, but definitely a tip for all you gay internet daters out there. And maybe not gay, why be biased? I just don't know if this horrendous practice exists in straighty-land.
Is there an influx of passive-aggressive interest on the internet? I think there is. That wonderful term I just invented 'passive-aggressive interest' will be defined as thus: romantic and/or lustful interest in someone, reflected by constantly asking leading, annoying, yet indirect and purposeless questions, and refusing to ask what is actually on one's mind.
This is best exemplified by three questions:
1. What else? This means, I am interested, but I cannot possibly put forth enough sincere interest, brain capacity, creativity, or risk-taking to ask a real question, so I will put all the burden back on you. Fun answers to this question include "Nothing." "I don't know, you tell me." "That's it. Goodbye" or "I am chatting with someone more interesting right now."
Be careful of the backfire though! When I was asked this question one too many times and subsequently snapped, "NO! You have to ask me a real question!" I was met with a hesitant, "Ummm, do you like camping?"
To which, I wanted to bang my head, or his, through some heavy glass.
2. What's up? (Of course this is a passable introduction) However, when you have been chatting for a while and someone asks, "So, what's up?" this obviously means "I am horny and want to hook up but I will not make the effort or take the risk to ask you."
What's up? followed by a :-) or ;-) is also a free pass for murder.
3. And the winner of all passive-aggressive interest: So when are we meeting?
Jesus Christ, people. SO WHEN ARE WE MEETING? If you want to ask someone (me) out, set up a hook up, coffee, beer, handshake, or driveby, prove you have balls and ask.
N.B. The obvious flip answer is "I suppose whenever you ask" But be careful, because this awful person may actually ask. If someone you were really interested asked "So when are you meeting" you would obviously swoon.
You're welcome.
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